


Like Clockwork

by ChetRoi



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Au where One person in a couple dies but the other one remembers it each time, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, No Beta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24316270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChetRoi/pseuds/ChetRoi
Summary: Sakyo didn't understand. Why did life have to torture him like this? Who decided to curse him? Why did Izumi have to die and he had to suffer with the memories each time? Why?
Relationships: Furuichi Sakyou/Tachibana Izumi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	Like Clockwork

**Author's Note:**

> For Lunita and Shu, who inspired me to write this fic... I hope y'all like it.

It always ended up like this. It always ended up with Izumi dying, him crying, and then everything rewinded. Sakyo was sick of it. He was sick of watching the love of his life die time after time. He was sick of refalling in love time after time. He was sick of being miserable about her death time after time. 

The first reset was...an experience. Sakyo remembered watching everyone sob as they got the news. He remembered the loud scream that was ripped from his throat and the constant mutterings of denial from Masumi. He remembered the empty feeling that he had the whole day, the forlorn gazes of everyone, the sympathetic pats on the back. He remembered sobbing to himself until he passed out. Then, it happened. He woke up and rubbed his eyes. Everything seemed normal; Bon was still sleeping and the room was still the same as before. However, when he walked, he heard her voice, her laugh. He shook his head rapidly. First stage of grief was always denial after all. He sighed and walked forward, only to be greeted by the sight of her with Kumon. He blinked hard. He didn’t take himself to be the type of person to be that hard in denial. 

“Eh? Are you okay Sakyo-san?” “Izumi” asked, looking at him with those concerned eyes of hers. It looked so real, but it wasn’t. So, Sakyo turned to Kumon.

“Hey Hyodo-otouto, what are you doing?” Sakyo saw Izumi frown. God, was his brain this persistent? 

“Eh? I was talking to the director.” 

Sakyo sighed. “Hyodo-otouto, listen, we all miss her, but it’s healthy. We all have to move on, no matter how hard it is.” Sakyo had to choke back his tears, which he could feel coming. He had to stay strong for the younger members of Mankai.

“Ehhhh? Sakyo-san, why are you talking about me like I’m dead?” “Izumi” asked. She placed her hand against Sakyo’s forehead. “You don’t seem to have a fever. Are you tired? You should get some rest.”

Sakyo blinked. Why did her touch feel so real? Why did she seem so real? “Yeah, are you okay Sakyo-san? You ignore Kantoku-san and now you’re acting like she died. Is this some kind of method acting?” Kumon leaned in close to Sakyo. “If it is, wow, you’re so cool!”

“Ahhhh… is that it Sakyo-san? Are you practicing? If so, don’t let me stop you. Practice is always very important.” Sakyo blinked hard, and Izumi was still there. What the fuck? 

“Yeah...I’m practicing. Don’t mind me.” Sakyo said, waiting to see Kumon and “Izumi”’s reactions. They both gave nods of understanding and went back to talking about the new sports play from a rival theatre. Sakyo had no idea what was happening, but he was determined to find out. 

Sakyo racked his brain. Who was someone that he could trust to be realistic with him? Guy. Guy was always trustworthy. Sakyo set out to find Guy, who was in the kitchen with Omi, trying to learn how to cook once again. Ah, Fushimi was always trustworthy too. Plus, he had experience dealing with loss, so he probably shouldn’t be the type to be in denial over it. Perfect. Sakyo walked over to where the two were. “So, how are you guys?” Sakyo asked casually as Omi gave him a confused look. 

“Uh… I’m fine. It’s not like you to ask that, but… how about you Sakyo-san?” Omi replied. 

Guy turned off the stove. “Well… I am doing quite well on this day. I am currently trying to improve my culinary skills with Fushimi.” 

Sakyo felt like he wanted to throw up. Why was everyone acting so normally? “Well, I’m doing fine. I’m just a bit confused.” He was surprised that his voice was that steady.

“Oh? Maybe we can be of assistance.” Guy replied. Sakyo took a deep breath in. How was he going to explain this? How was he going to ask?

“Well...I’m quite worried for Izumi. Is she okay?” Sakyo said carefully. Omi furrowed his eyebrows.

“I think so…? Unless, something happened. Did something happen to her?” Omi responded, his voice getting increasingly worried. 

“I do not recall Izumi being in any type of distress or harm. However, if that were to have changed, I would not mind assisting in any way that I can. If you know of any particular harm that she may have gone through, you should inform us.” Guy looked at Sakyo expectedly. Sakyo couldn’t believe it. Guy and Omi weren’t the types to not accept death, they were realistic. 

“Oh no. It’s nothing.” Sakyo said, trying hard to not show the whirlwind of emotions inside of him. “Sorry to worry you guys, it must be my imagination.” Sakyo rushed out of the room, much to the confusion of both men in there. 

Sakyo rushed to his room, where it was thankfully empty. He sat down on the ground and placed his face in his hands. He didn’t imagine that right? He didn’t imagine her dying. That felt too real. He could still feel his tears from the event, the screams and the sobbing… Izumi did die. He’s sure. Yet, why did everyone act like she didn’t? Why was she still here? Sakyo took many deep breaths in and out. It’s okay. It’s fine. Maybe, this was a dream. A very realistic dream, but a dream nonetheless. He stood up, his legs wobbling, and he held onto his bed for support. It’s fine. This is fine. He’s not going crazy. He’ll play along with this dream. Maybe, it’s a way to cope. 

Sakyo exited his room and once again ran into Izumi, who was now talking to Chigasaki and Utsuki. Ah, those two weren’t the emotional types, so they’ll probably be realistic with him. Sakyo approached the three. “Hey Sakyo-san, what brings you here?” Itaru asked.

“I was just coming out of my room. Hey, Utsuki. Chigasaki. Can I speak with you two in private?” Sakyo motioned at the two to follow him while Izumi looked confused.

“Sakyo-san, did I do something wrong? Why are you acting so weird around me? I know you’re trying to practice acting, but I feel like something’s off.” Izumi looked so sad and Sakyo had to turn around. Fuck, he hated seeing her sad, even if it wasn’t actually her. 

“You didn’t do something wrong. It’s a problem that only I have to deal with.” Izumi took Sakyo’s hand. 

“I’m not going to push it, but you don’t have to face it alone. I’m here. Mankai’s here.” Sakyo stared into Izumi’s warm brown eyes. Her hands felt so warm, so real. Her hair shined in the sunlight and she smelled like a mixture of cinnamon and sage. She seemed so real. Sakyo wanted her to be real. 

“Alright. Thank you.” Sakyo said, gently pulling away from Izumi. He went to join Itaru and Chikage in the hallway.

“Wow, you lovebirds seem happy. Are you planning to ask us to help you propose?” Chikage teased. 

Sakyo knew that if any people were going to be blunt with him, it’d be these two. “Listen. Utsuki. Chigasaki. I don’t know how to say this, but Izumi’s dead. Yet, everyone’s acting so strangely. It seems like no one remembered that she died. Please. Please tell me you remember. You two are the most shameless in Mankai.” 

Itaru blinked while Chikage leveled a stare at Sakyo. “Eh? Is this the plot of some new play or something? It kinda sounds like some type of drama romance anime. We already have a zombie play though, so maybe… ghost play?” Itaru said. 

“Are you okay Sakyo-san? Did you sleep enough? Do you need some medication? If you have trouble with obtaining the medication, just tell me.” Chikage said, jabbing Itaru gently.

Sakyo shook his head. “No. This isn’t an act. Why does no one else remember it? Why doesn’t anyone remember that Izumi got hit with a car and died? Am I going crazy?” Sakyo muttered. Itaru and Chikage exchanged concerned looks. 

“Listen Sakyo-san, I think you should go to sleep. You’re obviously not mentally here right now. Izumi’s fine, she didn’t get hit by anything.” Chikage said, ushering Sakyo to his room. 

“Yeah, maybe you just had a bad dream of the Director's bad end.” Itaru said. Sakyo knew. Sakyo knew that it wasn’t a bad dream. It was too realistic to be just a bad dream.

“No, you guys. Do you guys really not remember? Be brutally honest with me like you usually are.” Sakyo was practically begging at this point, which caused Itaru and Chikage to take a step back.

“Sakyo-san… what triggered this flag? Are you okay?” Itaru pressed his hand against Sakyo’s forehead. “You don’t seem delirious.”

Chikage gently pushed Sakyo into his own room. “Sakyo-san, please rest. I’ll alert the others that you aren’t feeling well.” The two businessmen left Sakyo alone, but Sakyo could hear them murmuring amongst themselves. Sakyo groaned and held his head inside his hands. How did this fucking happen? Was he the only one who remembered her dying? Well, clearly she apparently didn’t die because he just saw her, but he swears… Sakyo took a deep breath in. Maybe… he just had a really vivid bad dream. Yeah. Sakyo decided to take that as his final answer, because if it wasn’t that, he wouldn’t know how to respond or what to do. Izumi is safe, healthy, and most importantly alive. Sakyo needed to go out there and apologize to everyone for worrying them. 

As years passed, Sakyo almost forgot about the nightmare. He and Izumi got married and had kids. Everything was going well until it happened again. 

Second reset, Sakyo woke up to find himself in a place where he hadn’t been in for awhile, his childhood bedroom. What the fuck. He got up and things felt different. He looked at himself in the mirror, and he was a kid again. This couldn’t be happening. He rushed out to find his mom talking with a familiar person. His mom noticed him and beamed. 

“Sakyo! You woke up just in time! We have new neighbors and they have a kid your age, maybe you two can be friends!” Sakyo felt something cold curling in the pit of his stomach. The familiar person gestured for someone to come in and Sakyo felt like the wind was knocked out of him. It was Izumi, or rather it was kid Izumi. Izumi waved shyly to him and he waved back. What the fuck.

Each and every time, Sakyo had to watch as Izumi died before he did. What did he do to deserve this? Was there someone up above that just enjoyed torturing him? Was there some cruel deity that just wanted to see his endless suffering? Each time, he fell in love and then some time later, Izumi died. Whether it was just a day later or when they were old and married, Sakyo had to watch her die, had to go through her death. He hated it. Plus, only he remembered it. No one else did. He was alone in his suffering. Yet, he would go through all the suffering in the world if it meant that Izumi didn’t have to. 

After around 20 tries, Sakyo was determined to make sure that Izumi survived for longer than he did. He didn’t know how to break the curse, but he was damn sure that he would do whatever it took to break it. Mankai wasn’t always a part of the resets, so he was glad that he could do acting, yet he knew that one thing always was a part of the resets: Him loving Izumi. He’ll stop loving her if it means that she’ll live longer. 

The trial was going well so far, he hasn’t encountered Izumi at all. He was a part of Mankai, who was run by a surprisingly adept Matsukawa, and everything was going well. He was on his way back to his apartment, where he once again ran into roommates Chikage and Itaru (Sakyo guesses that they can’t be separated), and things were going well. However, he heard a voice that made him completely freeze.

“Hey, you’re my neighbor right? Can you please help me, I accidentally forgot my keys in my room.” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Sakyo knew that he should’ve ignored Izumi. He knew that if he turned around, he would doom her. So, he continued to unlock his door. “I know that we don’t know each other, but please help me. I’ll repay you.” Izumi continued to plead. Sakyo hesitated. Well, he just needed to not fall in love with her right? Helping and being friends should be fine. So, he turned around. 

“Sure. I’ll call the building manager for you.” Izumi beamed.

“Thank you so much! I seriously owe you one.” Izumi stuck out her hand. “I’m Izumi Tachibana and I just moved in today. It’s so embarrassing to forget my keys on the first day, but you know how hectic moving can get.” Izumi just sounded so earnest, so endearing. Fuck. Don’t do it Sakyo. Don’t take her hand. However, in the end, Sakyo was but a mere mortal with temptations that he fell to. He took her hand.

“Nice to meet you Izumi Tachibana, I’m Sakyo Furuichi.” 

Izumi beamed even wider. “Hi Sakyo-san! I have a feeling that we’ll be great friends!” 

“Yeah, I have that feeling too.” Sakyo gestured towards his door. “Come on in. You can wait for the manager in my apartment.” Izumi nodded and entered his apartment first. Sakyo squeezed his eyes shut, tears threatening to leak out. “I’m so sorry Izumi.” He whispered. He just couldn’t do it. He was too weak. He’ll always keep on dooming her. Everything has fallen into position once again, just like clockwork. 

As if things weren’t bad enough, sometimes Izumi literally died in Sakyo’s arms. Sometimes, Sakyo was transported to some alternate world with dragons or revolutions, and those always were tricky. He always ended up trying to save Izumi, trying to protect her from any possible danger. Yet, he was still always human. A fact that he was painfully reminded of each time he was too slow to save Izumi from a bullet or an arrow. Sakyo could remember, could feel each time that Izumi’s life ebbed away from her. It was always a terrible sensation. It made him feel so utterly helpless. Feeling Izumi’s light body in his arms, having her choke out her last words to him… It was the second worst part of this whole situation. What was the worst part you may ask? Well, the worst part was that it always restarts, like clockwork. 

Sakyo was tired. He was so tired.  _ He was so tired.  _ He went through some good resets, well the life itself was good and he spent a long time with Izumi. No resets were  _ good  _ considering what they were. However, the last reset was the worst, or well it was the worst so far. It started off fairly innocuous.They met, fell in love, the usual. However, some thug broke into their home, and Izumi wasn’t unfortunately there. This wasn’t like Mankai dorms, so there was no one else like Juza or Omi or Guy to protect her, and well...you can already guess what happened. Sakyo came home before the paramedics could arrive, and once again she laid in his arms dying. No matter how many times it happened, it still hurt him. It still made him want to curl up into a ball and curse at whoever brought him into this situation. It still made him feel like some sort of playtoy for some twisted person up there. It still made him feel like he deserved all of this because he couldn’t save her, he couldn’t break the loop.However, her last words made him feel sicker than any of the other last words that he has heard her say.

“I’m pregnant and you’re the father.” Izumi had tears in her eyes and Sakyo of course was sobbing. 

“That’s great, you’re going to be such a great mother. Just stay strong and soon all of us can be a happy family. The paramedics are almost here, just hold on for a bit longer.” Sakyo said in-between his sobs. Izumi touched his cheek weakly.

“Sakyo. I don’t think I can make it.” This wasn’t an uncommon line, but this coupled with the fact that she was pregnant, sent Sakyo over the edge. 

“No. No. No. Don’t say that. You can make it. You will make it. You’re strong. You’re the strongest person I know.” Izumi gave him a sad smile.

“I love you Sakyo. Let’s hope that we can meet again and have this family somewhere, somehow.” Sakyo held Izumi tightly.

“I love you too Izumi. I have a feeling we will. We’ll always make our way towards each other, no matter the circumstances.” Sakyo pressed a kiss against Izumi’s forehead as her breathing became shallow. Not soon after, Sakyo stopped feeling Izumi’s breathing and he knew. The ambulance had to pry him off Izumi and he was left by himself. He just felt so  _ empty _ . That wasn’t uncommon, but it was the worst that he ever felt. He didn’t understand why, of course her death was terrible, but why was he feeling particularly strong about this death. 

Sakyo laid in his bed and thought and thought, until he realized what it was. It was the fact that Izumi was pregnant. Now, the fact that she was pregnant wasn’t that surprising, they did have kids together in a lot of the timelines. However, it was the fact that she died while she was pregnant. It made Sakyo think of all the possible children that went alongside each Izumi. They were doomed too, and they didn’t get a choice in the matter. They weren’t even born yet and they still were cursed. They were cursed because he was the father. They were cursed because the world was cruel and liked to make Sakyo suffer. They were cursed simply for existing. Sakyo was so tired. 

When Sakyo woke up again in another timeline, the sinking feeling of emptiness and despair still lingered, still made itself known. For the first time in 97 resets, Sakyo wondered that if everything else could be solved if he just committed suicide. Sure, he has died before, but Izumi always died before him. Would this curse finally end? Could he finally rest? If it meant that Izumi could finally rest, his possible future children could finally rest,  _ he _ could finally rest, then it was worth a try. Sakyo drove to the nearest cliff and parked somewhere near it. He looked down, watching as the violent waves crashed over one another in an attempt for dominance. He closed his eyes and jumped. 

Sakyo once again woke up, cold and shivering, but alive. Fuck. It was a never ending loop, no matter what he did. Sakyo laughed, a wretched, unstable, broken cackle spilling out of him for a long time. No matter what he did, Izumi was doomed. All of his possible children were doomed. He was doomed. 

Sakyo always considered him to be mentally strong, to be level headed, to be moral. However after each reset, he could feel his humanity slowly ebb away. He stopped caring too much about himself, about others, which was understandable. He’s been through 200 different timelines, he had seen so many deaths, so many different versions of his friends, of his loved ones, and of himself. Of course he still cared about them, he still had emotional connections to all of them from over 100 different timelines, but he knows it’ll reset each time. Why should he care so much about everyone's safety? He always ended up caring anyways, but each time he cared just a little less and less.

400 timelines in and everything started to melt together. Sakyo could no longer tell what was happening in this timeline versus what was happening in another timeline. Even before, he was often mistaken about what was happening in this timeline with another one, but he could at least tell them apart. Now...he’s just been through most scenarios. They all just blur together. He knows what to do and what not to do. Maybe, one day he can finally beat this twisted game and move on. He should be close, right? How many possibilities could there be? Either way, he would still continue to try. He will rescue everyone from this fate, no matter the consequences.

Sakyo guesses that this situation could be a lot worse. He did have to go through it alone, but it wasn’t  _ necessarily  _ alone. His friends showed up a lot in the timelines and he appreciated it. Even though they weren’t his original friends, they’ll do. Sakyo would take anything at this point to make him feel better, feel calm, feel  _ something _ . Everytime he sees a member of Mankai in that timeline, he feels a spark of emotions that quickly dies down. Still though, it was something to look forward to. At least he had his friends, even if they don’t remember him. That has to count for something, right? Sakyo knew deep inside, it didn’t count for anything. Whatever. He had to do something, think something to keep him going through his 500th reset. He supposes lying to himself will do. 

600th reset and well, Sakyo grew some sort of twisted attachment to Izumi. All of his lives revolved around her. He just wanted to save her, he didn’t care about anything or anybody else. He figures that if he saves her, he saves everyone else. So, he began to not care about the others. Now, that’s not to say that he didn’t help them, because he did. However, if push comes to shove, and one of them was in his way… well, let’s say that Sakyo wouldn’t be afraid to get his hands dirty. He felt bad at first, these were his friends. The thought of even harming them just a few timelines ago was abhorrent to him, but now it wasn’t too bad. The hardest choices require the strongest wills. Who cared about anyone else, it wasn’t them that restarted everything. It was all about Izumi. Izumi was the key. Izumi was the answer. Izumi was the universe. 

700th reset and Sakyo was quite surprised. He no longer seemed to enjoy the things that he used to. Bubble wrap popping? No longer relieving. Mahjong? He knows all the moves. Shoujo manga? He had read most of them. Even acting was getting boring. He had so much time to practice it and to learn that he was sure he could act alongside anyone. He even won a few Fleur Awards in some of the timelines. Sure, he could always improve, but what’s the point? There’s no one to compete with anyways if everything starts over. Sakyo just wants this to end. 

800th reset and well… Sakyo swears he has tried everything. He did some things he wasn’t proud of. He did some things he was really proud of. Nothing ever changed. The same blocks would still get set and things ended up like how they always did. Like clockwork, things went on and on, never stopping. No matter what he did, it didn’t matter. In the end, his choices and his actions never mattered. He was stuck here for the rest of eternity. He hated it. However, it’s not like he’s going to give up. It should end soon, right?

1000 resets later and Sakyo was done. He was done trying to save Izumi, trying to save himself. There was no use anyways, he had tried everything he could. Still, it always ended up the same way, with Izumi dead. Why did he bother trying in the first place? There was no use. Whoever put him in this spot won. They won a long time ago. Of course, he’ll try to make each life with Izumi as happy and long as possible, but he’s no longer trying to break the curse. It just couldn’t be done. Sakyo gave up. This was his life and it’ll forever be his life. 

Sakyo opened his eyes and there he was, on a bulldozer with Sakoada. A streak of brown hair leapt in front of the bulldozer. “Stop! What are you doing to my dad’s theatre company?”

“Ay sorry lady, but bossman told me that the company owed us money.” Sakoda looked apologetic.

“No! Is there anything I can do to change your mind?” Izumi turned to face Sakyo with a pleading face. 

Sakyo couldn’t help but bitterly laugh. “Just make sure all the seats are filled closing night for your first play. I give you a month.” 

Izumi clenched her fist. “Fine.” Like clockwork, everything continued on like how they usually did. All the blocks fell into place. Sakyo couldn’t help the tears that fell on his face as he went through everything that he did the first time. Why did it matter anyways? It always ended up like this. 

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter @gachakitakorejk for more fanfics and brainworms...


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